Beautiful People (and Babies) Only, Please

Parents looking for genetic perfection can click here.

From the annals of “Really—you can’t be serious, can you?” comes a twist on human procreation so shallow it makes Heidi Montag look like Maya Angelou: an online sperm bank where the donors must be certifiably beautiful.

Access to the sperm bank is through BeautifulPeople.com, an online network where admittance is based on approval from a panel of judges that reviews your photos and a profile. Once greenlighted, you’re in the privileged club, complete with a VIP pass to access an online world of genetically splendiferous sperm. Whether you’re looking to start a brood, or expand one, the donors have been vetted, examined, and considered babe-alicious.

Now, should you find yourself on the outside looking in, the founders have gracefully opened access to the sperm bank to nonmembers too.

"Initially, we hesitated to widen the offering to non-beautiful people,” said Robert Hintze, founder of BeautifulPeople.com in a company news release. “But everyone—including ugly people—would like to bring good-looking children in to the world, and we can't be selfish with our attractive gene pool.”

Proving that selfish is definitely not the word anyone would use to describe it, BeautifulPeople.com didn’t launch the sperm bank for profit, but rather for the good, err-good looking, of all humanity. According to the company, hundreds of couples who have met through BeautifulPeople.com have had children.

“We are simply responding to a demand for attractive donors,” Hintze added. “Every parent would like their child to be blessed with many fine attributes, attractiveness being one of the most sought after. For a site with members who resemble Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Angelina Jolie you can imagine the demand."

To all of the pregnant woman, and couples, out there (BeautifulPeople.com members or not) who might possibly spend a moment worried about their future’s child eye color or nose size, rest assured: Your child will be gorgeous. A baby truly can’t be described any other way.